The Beginning

Our story isn’t too “romantic”, but I would like to say that it was meant to be. Get comfy, it’s a bit of a long story.

The sad stuff…

In 2009 I moved to Missouri to pursue nursing. After graduating from nursing school, I decided to stay and get some experience at a hospital in Joplin. In the summer of 2013, I had planned to come home to Colorado to visit. The week that I was leaving I found out that Mom was going to be seen at St. Anthony’s Hospital in Denver for a bronchoscopy. In the days before, mom had found out that she had a pleural effusion after going to the doctor with complaints of coughing.

Instead of driving to Del Norte I met Mom and Rich (my stepdad) in Denver for the appointment. The provider offered for me to attend the procedure and I accepted, though looking back, I am not sure I would again.

After the doctor obtained a biopsy of an abnormality in mom’s lung, he handed the specimen off to a pathologist that was in the room. Those few minutes of waiting for news, any news was the worst. She announced out loud, “it is small cell carcinoma”. This was a death sentence.

After the procedure mom also had an MRI due to concerns around recent headaches and other symptoms she had been experiencing. Guess what? Metastasis to the brain, adrenal gland, and spine.

Mom initially said, “the hell with it” and didn’t want to attempt treatment. She was very familiar with small cell cancers and knew what it meant. After the provider told her that she would have two or three weeks without treatment she decided to move forward with chemo and radiation.

We did the things. We did ALL the things, and it didn’t buy us much time. We made the best of the time we had left but she went downhill fast. My sister Jess and I helped to get her to radiation and chemo appointments. Radiation was first and went fairly well except for being hospitalized due to severe dehydration. Next was chemo. First round went well. The doctor was amazed with her perseverance and ability to keep fighting like she was. Last chemo infusion was on Friday and I brought her home to Del Norte.

Early Monday morning Rich woke me up and told me that something was wrong and I should get up and check out Mom. She was exhausted and something was “off”. I took her to the ER in Del Norte. She had severe thrombocytopenia (low platelets) and neutropenia (low white blood cells). She kept getting worse so they felt it was best to get her to Denver to be with the doctors that were familiar with her case.

Once in Denver, it was all downhill. There were a couple decent days at the beginning and then she was done. Done with the cancer. Done fighting. Done not being herself anymore. Done with losing her dignity. One night we were talking, and she started “the list”. These were desires for her remaining time and desires after she passed. We wrote down who would get what and also talked about her obituary, which I wrote and read to her. That woman absolutely despised traditional obituaries because they didn’t provide an intimate sense to who the deceased really was. She also said that she was ready for her “D-Day” and to go ahead and organize hospice care.

My Mom

On August 29th 2013, Mom left us.

It’s a day that I will never forget. Mom kept declining throughout the day and it got to the point where I begged her to go. I leaned in and I told her, “I love you; I am okay, we are all okay. Mom this is getting too hard, and I need you to go now. It’s okay.” Several hours later I knew we were close to the end.

I left the room briefly to go get the nurse because mom seemed for uncomfortable. When we entered the room, the nurse was preparing to give mom a medication for nausea. All of the sudden, something changed. Mom looked up and to the right corner of her room; she smiled, closed her eyes, and she was gone.

As a nurse, I am no stranger to death and this was the most peaceful departure from this world that I have ever witnessed. She went to battle with dignity and won in the end.

Trying to make the best of chemo

Making changes…

After mom passed away, I felt that I needed to come back to my roots and move home to Colorado. I moved in with my stepdad until I could figure things out. We both needed the company to be honest.

I started working at the family ranch/meat business while my nursing license became active in Colorado. Once active, I started working at a local hospital in the labor and delivery unit. I was terrified and excited; this was all very new.

In early 2014 I went to Peru with my sister and her family. It was an amazing experience. I may have gotten a bad case of the “cha-cha’s” and got basically robbed by a cute lady with a llama, but it was all worth it.

Machu Picchu with my seester Jessica

The meeting…

For several months I had been harassed by a rowdy uncle and my stepdad about establishing a Farmersonly.com account. I pushed back but eventually succumbed to the bullying. Shockingly enough, I knew several of the people that were on the site and could not get into it.

After a couple-month hiatus from shopping online for a date, I opened a Match.com account. That was the best $35.00 I have ever spent.

One night, I started creeping on some profiles. I found a guy that lived in Pagosa Springs (about an hour away). He seemed like a good guy, so I clicked a button and “winked” at him. The next day, Jeremiah (that guy) started writing me. We wrote back and forth for several days before agreeing to meet for dinner.

That night we were going to meet in South Fork and I about didn’t go. I just kept second guessing myself and wondering if I was wasting my time. I ended up going and the rest is history.

The big day!

In September of 2017 we tied the knot and Jeremiah gained his “ball and chain”. We had our honeymoon overseas in Scotland and England. It was absolutely beautiful and a trip that I will never forget.

Jeremiah is truly the BEST thing that has ever happened to me and as crazy as it sounds, I would not have met him if Mom were alive today. She's the reason I came home.

What about kids???

Jeremiah and I decided to start trying to have kids in early 2018 and we are still trying to have them in 2021. I’ll save that “shit show” for another post.